I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
