like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
