Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
