I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
