I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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