I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
