So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
