Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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