just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
