Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
