the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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