U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
