? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
