Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
