i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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