Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
