absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
