I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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