You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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