i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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