Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
