All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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