ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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