My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It's blow job season.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
