i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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