i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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