Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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