yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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