We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
