he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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