it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
