and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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