He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
