I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
