Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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