All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
