You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
