There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
So much Jack, so little girl.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
