I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
