I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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