nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
