Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
