Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Shame is for Republicans.
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