your thong is hanging out like whoa
oh god the rape fog is back!
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I will be naked everywhere
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
