Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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