that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
