Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
She needs sedatives and a leash
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
