I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Fuck appropriateness.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
