i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
