The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
