wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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