our cab driver is having phone sex.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
